Thursday, 30 May 2013

Cosmopolis 2012 0*

X-rated Library hold I forgot why I requested. Teaser. Starts: "A rat became the unit of currency" from Don DeLillo, author of novel that movie based on, in font too small to read. In Wiki, sounds like pretentious puffery.

In white stretch limo, MIB-look cocky rich Eric (Robert Pattinson) chats "life meaning" with company co-founder "Shiner" (Jay Baruchel - Sorcerer's Apprentice; voice Hiccup - How to Train your Dragon).

He meets blonde Elise (Sarah Gadon - Ruby Ogden, Murdoch Mysteries) in taxi, and stops for coffee. "I looked for you this morning". "You never told me you were blue-eyed." "When are we going to have sex again?" "Soon, I promise." "You have your mother's breasts. Great stand-up t-ts". That is where I quit watching. (Spoiler from Wiki: She's his wife.) Boring.

His ear-piece underling warns "the threats are credible": someone wants to shoot him, and the American president. Another insider car-pal continues same style of conversation as Shiner. So far, Paul Giamatti films suck. Waste here. Watch instead How to Train your Dragon, Murdoch Mysteries, new Avengers ...

Captions: English Fran├žais
Commentary: with David Cronenberg

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